Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Wedding bliss

A conversation with a friend compels me to write on the issue of marriage. She wanted to see my perspectives on the issue and it was an interesting conversation indeed.

The definition of marriage varies. The textbook definition would be "the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife." Malachi 2:4 defined marriage as a holy covenant before God. Within the Jewish custom "it's not the "ceremony" that's important in a marriage, it's the couple's covenant commitment before God and men. For Christian, marriage goes beyond the earthly covenant as well, it is also represent the spiritual aspect of the relationship with God. As for Islam, the general purpose of marriage is that the sexes can provide company to one another, love to one another, procreate children and live in peace and tranquility to the commandments of Allah. It is also deemed as "mithaq" - a solemn covenant (agreement). 

Her quest in searching for perspectives on the matter have brought forth some interesting responses, some couples prefer not to be tied down, others consider marriage is a way of conforming to heterosexual ways of life. There is also a response saying that for Muslim gays "who will recite the acceptance of "aqad", who will play the role of the groom, for those who believe that there should not be any  gender stereotype persona".

As for me, I told her, if I was given a chance I would love to take the leap with my better half, however living in Malaysia it would be impossible and the marriage would not have any legal weight (unfortunately). So technically being in this relationship once a couple decided to move in with each other is a marriage itself. To be committed with the relationship, and to be trustful of each other. Infidelity and promiscuity are there in any relationship, married or not, regardless of any sexual orientation.

Everyone despite their sexual orientation has that desire even a spark to walk down the isle or to be a part of the wedding ceremony and say "I do" or "aku terima nikahnya", or just a civil ceremony that have no connotation of religious aspect no matter who your better half is. I guess the idea of being someone's wife or someone's husband and with proof to show is an empowering feeling that finally the cycle of life is complete. And the journey to grow old together begin.

On a lighter note, in the word of Rita Rudner "I love being married. It is so great to find that special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life".




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