Friday, December 27, 2013

Bucket List

I have a bucket list. 100 things that I wanted to do, and with no time limit, however having a list is easy, to start writing "done" at the end of the list is a bit hard. It is a work in progress. Looking at the list, the only thing I can conclude is that my list is kinda safe, no death defying act (except to bungee jump), nothing that is too promiscuous (well, I did managed to do a friend with benefit), and soon the list will continue to 2014, maybe my new year resolution is to tick off the items on the list. Welcoming 2014 with an open arm, and looking forward to new and exciting things. 

Thursday, December 26, 2013


I befriended a girl who said hi to me online. We talked and it seemed that I encountered her better half few months back. I did more digging to confirm whether it was the same person, and it was. She told me that they have been together for 6 years, and have this open relationship policy, which the concept fascinates me. I just kept it to myself the details which her better half actually flirted with me, and I flirted back because she said she wasn't seeing anyone, and the details she shared of sleeping with someone else. I scraped off my intention of wanting to go do more than just flirting with her, and I told her off because I respect her as a friend and  it would not be a good idea. Which now I am relief that I did so, if not the conversation with my new friend would be way way awkward.


I went out last Tuesday and met with a friend. She was a junior of mine in uni years and I did have this fascination of just looking at her every time she was around the college,with her short hair and blue football jersey.  We went out for coffee and started talking about our good old days and what we have been up to for the past 13 years (we haven't seen each in other in 13 years). It was an interesting meeting, sitting in front of me was this sweet young lady compared to the bubbly sport fanatic girl whom I would see riding her bike to class each day without fail. She controlled most of her conversation, her poised, her gesture, and even her laugh, which I do wonder why. And to my surprise, according to her, I am the only lesbian friend she has even though she is gay.  The conversation lasted for 2 hours, and I told her that I did find her attractive when she was my junior and I how I wished I had the gut to just sit next to her and struck a conversation instead of admiring from afar. I was gutless then and I  am still gutless now... or perhaps I am avoiding rejection. Excuses, excuses, excuses..... meeting more people, need to rethink my stand.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Bob Carlisle - Butterfly Kisses (Country Version)

Last weekend was my family day, my father insisted that all his daughters to be there, and to celebrate our birthdays in one day. Since all of us have commitments, my dad misses the family dinner of having us sitting around the table even thought just to bitch about our work and our life. None of us are married yet, but I do know my siblings will walk down the aisle one day, can't say the same about me tho, it is not in my plan to be married.
No matter how old we are, we will always be his little girls - with pony tails and dresses. 

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

(Not worth it)

Currently I am sitting in front of my laptop, trying to suppress my anger towards the stupidity and the insensitivity of others. 

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Monkey Business

I went back to Seremban last Sunday and was stuck in a jam exiting the toll. I told my mum early in the morning that I am coming back, in the effort of trying not to worry her, I called;

Naz : Mak, orang dah nak sampai tapi sangkut dalam jem.
Mak: Oooo, kalau macam tu bergayut jelah
Naz : Bergayut? What do you mean bergayut?
Mak: Kan dah sangkut, banyak tiang lampu, just swing yourself until you are home
Naz : ???????????. I miss you too mak.

She put a smile on my face, and made the wait bearable.

12th December

I put the date as my whatsapp status, and surprisingly it attracted those whom I have met and wanting to get to know however ignored me. I even deleted the numbers. Gone with the wind and come with the wind I guess. 

The date is a year anniversary of my break up, a friend asked literally "you are celebrating it", and I responded "Yeah, why not". I don't feel that it indicates that I am depressed or I am having issue to move on. It is just an indication that a year ago, I was heartbroken and I picked myself up, moved on, and here I am. The year has been filled with a lot of unexpected things, I met a lot of people, I put myself out to meet new ones, I did things that I even surprise myself, and I set my priority straight, and I even lost few whom I care but seems to think losing me is far important than losing their pride. I told myself to stop being other people's emotional punching bag, I am being labelled as heartless, cold and selfish. Yet, I am fine with it, I stop being a people- pleaser and I surround myself with people who appreciate and accept me for who I am. 

Yeah, break-up sucks, but it is not the end of the world. Carpe Diem!!!

Monday, December 2, 2013