Bucket List

I have a bucket list. 100 things that I wanted to do, and with no time limit, however having a list is easy, to start writing "done" at the end of the list is a bit hard. It is a work in progress. Looking at the list, the only thing I can conclude is that my list is kinda safe, no death defying act (except to bungee jump), nothing that is too promiscuous (well, I did managed to do a friend with benefit), and soon the list will continue to 2014, maybe my new year resolution is to tick off the items on the list. Welcoming 2014 with an open arm, and looking forward to new and exciting things. 

Awkward

I befriended a girl who said hi to me online. We talked and it seemed that I encountered her better half few months back. I did more digging to confirm whether it was the same person, and it was. She told me that they have been together for 6 years, and have this open relationship policy, which the concept fascinates me. I just kept it to myself the details which her better half actually flirted with me, and I flirted back because she said she wasn't seeing anyone, and the details she shared of sleeping with someone else. I scraped off my intention of wanting to go do more than just flirting with her, and I told her off because I respect her as a friend and  it would not be a good idea. Which now I am relief that I did so, if not the conversation with my new friend would be way way awkward.

Gutless

I went out last Tuesday and met with a friend. She was a junior of mine in uni years and I did have this fascination of just looking at her every time she was around the college,with her short hair and blue football jersey.  We went out for coffee and started talking about our good old days and what we have been up to for the past 13 years (we haven't seen each in other in 13 years). It was an interesting meeting, sitting in front of me was this sweet young lady compared to the bubbly sport fanatic girl whom I would see riding her bike to class each day without fail. She controlled most of her conversation, her poised, her gesture, and even her laugh, which I do wonder why. And to my surprise, according to her, I am the only lesbian friend she has even though she is gay.  The conversation lasted for 2 hours, and I told her that I did find her attractive when she was my junior and I how I wished I had the gut to just sit next to her and struck a conversation instead of admiring from afar. I was gutless then and I  am still gutless now... or perhaps I am avoiding rejection. Excuses, excuses, excuses..... meeting more people, need to rethink my stand.

Bob Carlisle - Butterfly Kisses (Country Version)

Last weekend was my family day, my father insisted that all his daughters to be there, and to celebrate our birthdays in one day. Since all of us have commitments, my dad misses the family dinner of having us sitting around the table even thought just to bitch about our work and our life. None of us are married yet, but I do know my siblings will walk down the aisle one day, can't say the same about me tho, it is not in my plan to be married.

No matter how old we are, we will always be his little girls - with pony tails and dresses. 

(Not worth it)

Currently I am sitting in front of my laptop, trying to suppress my anger towards the stupidity and the insensitivity of others. 

Monkey Business

I went back to Seremban last Sunday and was stuck in a jam exiting the toll. I told my mum early in the morning that I am coming back, in the effort of trying not to worry her, I called;

Naz : Mak, orang dah nak sampai tapi sangkut dalam jem.
Mak: Oooo, kalau macam tu bergayut jelah
Naz : Bergayut? What do you mean bergayut?
Mak: Kan dah sangkut, banyak tiang lampu, just swing yourself until you are home
Naz : ???????????. I miss you too mak.

She put a smile on my face, and made the wait bearable.

12th December

I put the date as my whatsapp status, and surprisingly it attracted those whom I have met and wanting to get to know however ignored me. I even deleted the numbers. Gone with the wind and come with the wind I guess. 

The date is a year anniversary of my break up, a friend asked literally "you are celebrating it", and I responded "Yeah, why not". I don't feel that it indicates that I am depressed or I am having issue to move on. It is just an indication that a year ago, I was heartbroken and I picked myself up, moved on, and here I am. The year has been filled with a lot of unexpected things, I met a lot of people, I put myself out to meet new ones, I did things that I even surprise myself, and I set my priority straight, and I even lost few whom I care but seems to think losing me is far important than losing their pride. I told myself to stop being other people's emotional punching bag, I am being labelled as heartless, cold and selfish. Yet, I am fine with it, I stop being a people- pleaser and I surround myself with people who appreciate and accept me for who I am. 

Yeah, break-up sucks, but it is not the end of the world. Carpe Diem!!!

MELISSA INDOT - YOU & ME

Hmm....loving this song and her voice.

Matter of the Heart

The matter of the heart is never easy,
When one can only watch from a far and act happy,
When looking for the one seems like looking in the haystack,
When all you find that you are only good as friend and not an ounce more,
When you act of kindness is construed as an act of being desperate for a person's attention.

The matter of the heart is never easy,
When hate consumed every corner and eat the remaining love that you had,
When all the happy memories you had, faded and replaced with hateful thought; as you believe that it will make the transition easier.

The matter of the heart is never easy,
As Oscar Wilde said "Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead",
As Buddha said " The way is not in the sky, The way is in the heart",
As Anne Frank said "Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart".

Yes. It is complicated and never easy.

Window

Crush

I do wonder, if someone out there is crushing on me... well, I will never know that is why it is call a crush..duhhhh. (",)

Friends

Last night a close friend called and informed me that his mother has passed away. When he broke the news to me, I felt tears trickled down my cheeks, and I felt the need to be there for him and hug him and tell him everything will be fine.  It was around 8.00 p.m. and it was raining, and I didn't have any mean of transportation to travel back to Seremban because my car is currently in the workshop. I cried so hard last night, and I send a voice note to a friend, whom I befriended 3 weeks ago. Giving her circumstances she drove to pick me up and send me back to Seremban. We had a minor disagreement, because she cares and she was worried of my well being and me being stubborn and worried about her well being in return.

I went to my friend's house, I saw the sadness in his eyes as he smiled and he hugged me, and whispered to me, "Thank you for being here, thank you so much". And throughout that night even for just 1 hour, I stood by his side, and sometimes he hold my hand and I squeezed back as a gentle reminder "I am here for you". 

To my friend whom I befriended 3 weeks ago, proved to me that a little bit of kindness really can go a long way. Thank you.

Chasing the Sun

Took these pictures on an outing to Tanjung Sepat with a friend. I am not a good photographer, but I do love the sun.

Strength

Tanjung Sepat / 27.10.2013

"All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king."

J.R.R Tolkien, The Fellowship  of the Ring

A little bit of Kindness

I had to explain to a friend why I am helping her out in so many ways since our friendship is just recent. I tried to explain without being cheesy or implying that I am such a saint. However, who could blame her for having such thought that people are expecting something back, because there is the mindset of nothing in this world is free.

Is just that for me with all those screwed up things that happened in a person's life, a little act of kindness can go a long way.

I like the way Snuze summarized it "Naz, you can't help yourself, you are just wired that way".

No expectation

"If you expect nothing from anybody, you're never dissappointed" - Sylvia Plath
"When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are" - Donald Miller

Hehehe

Rain

 

 - Everyone wants happiness nobody wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain -

Words

Words written on wall of a cafe in Perak

Imaginary slap

1st Imaginary Slap

My first experience with an imaginary slap was during my matrix years. I became close to a friend that I said "hi" while queuing up to use the public phone. We hit it off immediately, and started to hang out, however she did not know that I am gay and I don't plan to tell her and scare her away since it was a very hot issue at that moment. One night I went to visit her in her dorm room, and I met all her 9 roommates. I shook hand and politely smiled, and one of the friend after I shook her hand, took off her prayer cloth (telekung) and quickly rush to the toilet to take her ablution again, and I saw she was rigorously rubbing her palm together trying so hard to wipe something from her hand. Then I found out rumor was spreading throughout the college that I am gay and my touch is "haram". 

PANG!  A slap to my face.

2nd Imaginary Slap

The 2nd slap happened when I attended my company annual dinner. During this time I had a crush on my close friend which happen to be my superior at that moment. So during the dinner, I went to see her and we had a chat and she suggested we look for one of our close friend among the sea of people. As we were maneuvering ourselves, I hold her hand and so that both of us won't be seperated. When I did that, quickly she pulled her hand away from me. I was surprised, until the day she said, I know you are gay, that is why I did that. 

PANG! A slap to my face

3rd Imaginary Slap

This happened last night. I spend the night at a friend's house, since recently she is faced with few difficulties. We went to bed, and I can feel that she was restless, maybe because I snored and woke her up or something. So  I turned, I asked "Are you owkey?" and I patted her back, her reaction was a surprise for me especially it was accompanied with the sentence "Don't touch me". As I turned to my side, as I closed my eyes, I can hear....

PANG! Another imaginary slap to my face. - sigh -

My Perak Trip

Went to Perak last Sunday, just for fun, and to cheer a friend up. She introduced us to a very unique place in which we end up enjoying hot drinks and good food.

The most memorable thing is that I reversed my car and accidentally hit and old Mercedez. Starting your day with a bang! Literary

Help

I need all the help I can get... hehehehe

Moment

Family Day / Port Dickson (29th September)

"If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret"

(Jim Carrey)

Chilling at Chiling

Last Saturday went trekking with a new friend. I wanted so bad to go to this place after it was being promoted highly by a friend of its serene beauty. Chill babe!!!!

Careful what you wish for...

Previously I blurted out that how I wish I can ride on a tow truck (even put it in my bucket list). Well that wish came true, and my car got towed due to malfunction of the alternator. *face palm*

5 hours meet

I met someone online and it was an interesting meet. We had interesting conversation beginning at 8.30 p.m until we were told to leave the restaurant and we continued the conversation else where and ended it at 2.30 a.m.

 

She described herself as a complicated and difficult individual, but for me she is eccentric and interesting. Made another new friend. (",)

Bwahahahaha

In my previous entry, I shared about the class I registered that highlighted the campaign to create awareness on the negative impact of LGBT as a failure, and that we have a hidden agenda of putting someone gay as a minister in the cabinet. 

One of the requirement of the class is to organize an educational activity that create awareness to the public about pressing issue.  

To all my fellow friends, the group of homophobic confused easily influenced students has elected me (a gay lady) to lead them in achieving 40% of our passing grade.... One small step to conquer the world!!!!!!!!!!!! (Sarcasm)

The Price of Chivalry

Yesterday, wasn't my day. My car broke down at the petrol station around 11.00 p.m. I looked around for assistance, none were that helpful. As a final effort I asked a taxi driver, and he agreed to jump start my car but with a condition and I agreed. 

After a very successful attempt, the uncle hold out his hand and I nodded in understanding. I placed in the palm of his hand, the price he has set for his chivalry - RM 10.00.

Childhood - a week in Sarawak

The coconut tree I burnt because my sister won't let me play with her

Used to be a library that my eldest sister and I established for the children of the village

My drain adventure - 10 guppies for 20 cents

The vase I kept my very own first pet (tadpoles) until they hopped away

Born to be Young - Paul Koudouris Official Music Video

Yeah!!!!!! Age is just a number.. We were born to be young (",)

Beauty vs personality

I was told by someone whom I said "hi" from a certain social network that I am lacking in that side a.k.a beauty, thus it justifies why I believe more on compatibility through personality. My counter argument was 'if beauty is used as the gauge, those who use it has to be of an equal". 

If you deemed a person as unattractive, do make sure that you are as hot as Jennifer Lopez, Megan Fox or Angelina Jolie. 

I am single and unable to find someone because I am not attractive. 

I just found out I am lacking in beauty, I thought I was so damm cute and hot. My mirror is shattered!!!! (Sarcasm)

I am living a lie

I still remember the first lie I told my mum and dad. I lied to them that the teacher did not give my report card for previous mid term examination. She did, I hid the report card from my parents and extend my lie to my teacher saying that I lost the report card and I paid for a new one. All because I failed my math (hate numbers).

But there are things that I wish I can share with my mum and sisters, like the day my ex broke my heart, or the day that I tendered my resignation to pursue a different path. And the real reason why I am going to Sarawak for a week. 

Last week, when driving my mum around, she asked about my ex, "is she well, is she engaged to be married, why doesn't she call and keep in touch with the family". I looked at my mum and smiled, "Mak, she is busy with her thesis, and this is her final year, she did text and said hi". It was a very calm and collected response but the truth was I wanted to reply "I told her not to keep in touch with the family because she dumped me and broke my heart". 

Zodiac

An interesting conversation struck between me and a girl that accidentally send a message to my phone two days ago. It was a case of wrong number. However it didn't stop us to have conversation for the past days. For a 25 year old she is quite friendly and shared with me a lot of things. Just say, no stone is left unturned. Her favorite quote would be "well that is the traits of typical Aries". She justified herself based on her zodiac. For me I am not that keen to use zodiac as means to get to know someone, because people are unpredictable. Nevertheless one wrong message, and I made a new friend. 

I am Capricorn, by the way. 

The Break up

Watching the break up (Vince Vaughn & Jennifer Aniston) made me think a lot of things. Not that the movie was that good but it made me uttered this statement;

"Mi Casa Mi Casa, Su Casa Su Casa" definitely not "Mi Casa Su Casa"

Mind in the gutter

Attended a class that affirmed my thought that;

A. People fear what they don't understand

B. A sample doesn't represent a population 

C. Educated people can be narrow minded and shallow in defining certain issues

D. Most of us are sheep that follow a shepherd command or views without depth 

My lecturer shared his views and said that he was a part of a body that was responsible in curbing the growing issue of LGBT 6 years ago. The way he explained his roles as well as how they approached the matter saddened me a lot. I felt so uncomfortable sitting in the class and looking at everyone nodding in agreement to whatever he said. I have the sinking feeling that some idiots in the class might propose to do a class project of creating awareness by highlighting the negative of this sexual orientation.

I don't know how things will get better if our future educators and those who deemed themselves educated think that LGBT is all about SEX.

I choose this.

ONLY IN MALAYSIA

What Malaysians think of Malaysians.

Today

What if straight was gay and gay was straight

I am not trying to force anything on anyone. Just sharing what lack of tolerance can do.

Wedding bliss

A conversation with a friend compels me to write on the issue of marriage. She wanted to see my perspectives on the issue and it was an interesting conversation indeed.

The definition of marriage varies. The textbook definition would be "the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife." Malachi 2:4 defined marriage as a holy covenant before God. Within the Jewish custom "it's not the "ceremony" that's important in a marriage, it's the couple's covenant commitment before God and men. For Christian, marriage goes beyond the earthly covenant as well, it is also represent the spiritual aspect of the relationship with God. As for Islam, the general purpose of marriage is that the sexes can provide company to one another, love to one another, procreate children and live in peace and tranquility to the commandments of Allah. It is also deemed as "mithaq" - a solemn covenant (agreement). 

Her quest in searching for perspectives on the matter have brought forth some interesting responses, some couples prefer not to be tied down, others consider marriage is a way of conforming to heterosexual ways of life. There is also a response saying that for Muslim gays "who will recite the acceptance of "aqad", who will play the role of the groom, for those who believe that there should not be any  gender stereotype persona".

As for me, I told her, if I was given a chance I would love to take the leap with my better half, however living in Malaysia it would be impossible and the marriage would not have any legal weight (unfortunately). So technically being in this relationship once a couple decided to move in with each other is a marriage itself. To be committed with the relationship, and to be trustful of each other. Infidelity and promiscuity are there in any relationship, married or not, regardless of any sexual orientation.

Everyone despite their sexual orientation has that desire even a spark to walk down the isle or to be a part of the wedding ceremony and say "I do" or "aku terima nikahnya", or just a civil ceremony that have no connotation of religious aspect no matter who your better half is. I guess the idea of being someone's wife or someone's husband and with proof to show is an empowering feeling that finally the cycle of life is complete. And the journey to grow old together begin.

On a lighter note, in the word of Rita Rudner "I love being married. It is so great to find that special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life".

I am more like this...

I tried to be back in the dating game and yet I found it hard because of some reasons.

1. I don't look like this

I am more like this

2. I am not fun enough

I am more like this

What do I think about this;

Sisterly love

My friends saw this picture and said "You started at early age, no wonder". 

P/s : This is not the beginning of my sexual confusion. This is how my sister showed me how much she loves me when we were young. Now, a kiss from her on my cheek would make me say "ewwwwwww".

Love-Hate

I skipped my dragon boat training today, because two of my sisters are at home with 4 cars but no one to drive them. My mum and my two other sisters went back for a wedding at my hometown.

My eldest sister and I have a love hate relationship. Being the eldest she has the authority of dictating me since we were young, to be specific since we started school. I never forget the disagreements, the arguments and the fights we had, both of us have a different role to play in the family, she is the responsible one, as for me, I am the "gung-ho" type. But today both of us went for an early jog, and had some overdue conversation. We even had a race. 

Sis  : Jom lumba

Me : Jom. Loser will buy breakfast.(hehehe)

Sis  : On your mark, SET, GO!

We moved our feet as fast as we can, and at one time I knew that I was leading, because she slowed her pace. We were walking on air and our feet didn't even touch the ground but we end our race with a smile. After that we went to buy breakfast. And I paid. 

We raced on this...hehehe

What I do every Saturday.

It started with, "Hey, come to the introduction". And I did. Since the first week of Ramadhan I have been joining this group of amazing people, that you can really see how passionate they are for the sport.

My Brain

My boss made a statement that listening to music while doing work is not a very healthy habit for my hearing. Then she ended it with a question;

Boss : Why do you listen to music when you are doing your work?

Naz  : I am left handed, so I need to keep my left brain occupied when my right brain is busy working.

Boss : (A very weird look)

Plus, I don't listen to music, I listen mostly to TED Talks. 

Sleep Dial

I woke up this morning with a surprise. As usual I would check my phone and O.M.G!!!!!! I sleep dialled my ex-dean at 5.38 a.m. for 1.06 minutes. I do wonder what did I say to her, or did I say anything, or perhaps she doesn't have my number and for her it would be just some crazy person playing a prank on her or did I snored. The possibilities are endless.!!!!!!! I am freaking out. or perhaps it  just went directly to voice mail.

Six vs Sex

LTL : What does Nicholas want?
Naz : He wants something for his new recruits. He has SIX recruits from his previous recruitment.

All Colleagues : Ha!!! He had SEX with recruits.

Clear pronunciation is important, remember that.

An interesting encounter

Yesterday, after a long day of doing nothing productive, I went to Putrajaya Maritime Center, just to check out the pool. Not that I can swim anyway, I felt the need to submerge my aching body in the water and enjoy the moment. I did few rounds of what my swimming instructor taught me in the previous training session at least  with some improvement. As I was about to call it a day, I saw this person was trying to get out of the pool but he slipped, automatically I said "Be careful". He looked at me and smiled. Instead of going through with his intention to exit the pool, he swam a bit and struck a conversation with me, asking me my name, where I work and even my age. I told him my age, he doesn't seem to mind for me being older than him, it didn't stop him from continuing the conversation. I shared with him that I can't swim, and he started to give me encouragement to really try and swim because for him swimming is a good exercise. I noticed from the corner of my eye, that his companion was observing our conversation and looked at me with a smile. He glanced to his companion and she signaled him it was time to go. Before he left, he reminded me to come again next week because he wants to teach me how to swim.There and then I thought that was a very sweet gesture and kinda cute as well. 

So I will mark on my calender next Saturday or Sunday, I will have a date with Mukhriz, a 9 year old boy who wants to teach me how to swim. 

He looked back and waved at me with a smile holding his mother's hand as he walked away from the pool. 

MIKA - Live Your Life ["Clean" Version]

Something to start your weekend with. (Tapping my feet while listening to this song)

Horror!!

I saw something that I could never forget, and it happened on my first day of swimming class. "I saw old men in speedo" Horror!!!!!!

I Will Not Let An Exam Result Decide My Fate||Spoken Word

Isn't it Ironic?

I listen to this spoken word poetry, which make me think that we should provide our children with option of shaping their future. Emphasis on having more As the benchmark of success need to stop.

Dari Mata turun ke Hati

"Some women flirt more with what they say, and some with what they do" - Anna Held

The best statement of the day "Naz, you are a natural flirt!!!". It seems like I do flirt and I am good at it, this statement was made by a friend of mine, when we were just sitting and enjoying our coffee while eyeing a cute waitress. For me I don't flirt, I am just friendly, overly friendly. 

On purpose?

Last Saturday was my Raya Open House, it was a full day of mayhem and chaos, in a very good way. All of my family members were occupied with the preparation, the cooking, the cleaning, the washing and so on. When the time arrived to greet our guests it was full swing customer service relation attitude, smile and and always smile. 

Out of all the commotion, I forgot the text one of my colleague here at my office my address. I sent invitation to all my colleagues excluding her. It was an honest mistake, I was occupied with the preparation the night before and the day of the event. Or is it? I do wonder did I forget her on purpose because I do consider her as someone who is insignificant. Do I feel bad? hmm to be honest, I don't feel any anything. 

Control Freak

Yesterday was my first swimming class, and it was interesting. The first thing I learnt was breathing technique as well as floating. However, I panicked when it was my turn to try and float, my instructor commented, "It is not that you can't go far, you choose not to go far". I shared my experience with my two friends and one of them said "Naz, you like being in control, so you will panic when you lose control. Naz, you are a control freak!!". 

Yes, I am. I am a control freak and I am proud of it. (",)

Sarah Kay & Phil Kaye "When Love Arrives"

Interesting definition of love

Esther Perel: The secret to desire in a long-term relationship

Erotic Intelligent

"Aku punya manja"

"Aku punya manja ko saja boleh rasa, rahsia kita berdua" - Fynn Jamal (150 Juta)

I have issues with Public Display of Affection or PDA whether the person is gay or straight. However, holding hand for me is acceptable as long as you don't try to act cute doing it. Sometimes if I encounter as such there will be a tiny little voice in my head screaming " get a room!!!!". Fortunately for me, I do have friends that are very open if I display my affection towards my partner, for them I am in love.  But I am the one who is uncomfortable of doing it. I don't feel like displaying it for everyone to stare, gawk, it is like shoving down someone throat "I am in love, accept it!I am in love, accept it! I am in love accept!", to an extend for me it is like over compensating for something that is lacking - people acceptance of the relationship. I would rather that it be a secret between me and my partner of how much we love each other and I have this conscious belief that, people would know how much you love someone even without you displaying it. In the word of Tom Jones "Love is in the air..."

Those who say that I am not proud of who I am, think again, I am proud of who I am, and I am definitely proud if I am with someone, and I would want to share and scream out loud " (partner's name) I love you" so that the whole world can see how happy and content I am, but I choose not to. I don't think that they will even change their mind of how they perceive the relationship no matter how happy I am. The important thing is I know how happy I am.

Evolution

Funny things about evolution

Tango!

What I am going to write today is on a topic discussed by two radio Djs "Who would guys go to, a good woman or a bad woman" and the most interesting statement made was "men are indecisive", which for me is so true. They want the company of woman that for them is modern, open minded, and not too conservative but in terms of marriage and bringing to see the parent, they would opt for the "girl next door".  Few years back, my student shared with me his principle about relationship, he said, "Ms. Naz, to summarize it - senang nak dapat senang nak tinggal". Even though at that moment the feminist in me kicked in, I just looked at him walking away hand in hand with a girl that he courted during our journey to the event. And I saw him with a different girl next week. 

There is a belief that women have the tendency to be attracted to the bad boy type. According to researchers women who attracted to the "bad boy persona" tend to be extreme risk takers or seem to dangerously live on the edge - thrill seekers. Plus there are also statements made that because women are "fixer" by nature, being with a bad boy is an opportunity and challenge that we can actually change a man. 

Men and women seek security through two different outlets; caregiving and sexuality. Men use sexuality, women more to caregiving. No matter what the findings are, for me it takes two tango..(",). 

As if..

It took me two hours today just to reach my office, the worst jam ever!!. I am not going to elaborate more on that since Traffic Congestion and Kuala Lumpur are like "Irama & Lagu". And I do want those who preach how "berjiwa rakyat" they are to join the parade of crawling cars to reach their destination, as if. 

Shane Koyczan - Instructions for a Bad Day

To This Day Project - Shane Koyczan

A very haunting spoken word poem

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty"  - Maya Angelou

Manal al-Sharif: A Saudi woman who dared to drive

"You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate woman; you educate a generation" - Brigham Young

Be careful

Anthony Brown

hello dear , nice to meet you on Facebook, you look so beautiful and your profile is very interesting, would you mind if ask to be your friend?.I will be waiting for your respond have a wonderful day .

Seriously!!!!! Duhh, if it is too good to be true, be very very careful.

Mission Impossible - Task 1

Your mission for today if you wish to accept it : -

1. To play a game with your friends or family  - online or otherwise
2. To text a friend that you haven't seen for years and say "hello".
3. To do one thing that will make you smile
4. To be honest with a friend
5. To do one simple thing that You want to do

Share with me the outcome

Sound gay

This incident happened few months back. It was my first outstation, it was in Johor and it involved the whole department. So, my colleague drove the company's MPV which can cater all 6 of us plus the training material. The three hours journey was filled with stories and opinion ranging from politic to sexuality. We stayed there for 2 days and I managed to briefly acquaint myself to a very interesting individual who was very friendly to me (smile) every time our path crossed.  

Our journey back was interesting as well, the topic of conversation was more on LGBT, I do wonder why are they so curious about that. Straight people, they find everything interesting. It started with an artist then expend to many branches of sexuality, and I answered and provided opinion to the best that I can, and my colleague kept on asking me, how do you know so much? I looked at him and said with a smile "I am gay". The whole car was filled with laughter. He asked me three times and I gave him the same answer, yet everyone was laughing as if it was a humorous statement. Hmm, I guess my friends were right "I sound gay, but I don't look gay". 

Life Changing Decision

"I want you to make the decision, you can choose to do it now, or you can do it during the flight, I am not forcing you, it is your decision".

I heard this one sided conversation when I was in the ladies room. I was wondering at that moment what was happening, who was the person that has to make the biggest decision of her life. It sounded so serious. I finished my business and walked out of the cubicle just to see a lady providing her two-years old son option which cubicle  to choose and whether to do the business now or later. "No pressure" she said. I am not that qualify to give opinion on parenting skills but he is only two, what does he know in choosing which toilet to go into. But looking at it positively, this young man, may have the power to decide whether he wants to go to preschool or not, or which preschool he wants to go. Power to the youth!!

Freezing

Waking up in hotel room, and unable to turn up the heater or turn down an air conditioner has taught me one lesson - Never go to bed wearing a short pants.

This is my last outstation with my current employment, and it is in Sungai Petani, Kedah. I used to live in Kedah, and I had my first crush here. After 27 years and only now I am back in Kedah, and it is for work. Hmm, I should think of travelling more for my own self-satisfaction. 

"o.m.g, I can't feel my leg - it is freezing" said the lady writing this entry under the cover.

I am a nerd but a hot sexy one

Until today, this year is the year of bitches. I was told to stay away from a friend, I was told that I was dumped out of respect, I was told that the only beautiful thing about me is my bosom, I was told that I would never be with someone because of how opinionated I am, I was told that I am a boring individual, I was told a lot of things.

The title is a bit condescending, but hey, I was told that by someone and it made my day. "I am sexy and I know it..."

hehecartoon

Honestly I was stuck thinking what I should name my blog. In the end, just hehecartoon, a word which has no special or hidden meaning behind it, just a name that makes no sense.Making sense of everything can be a bit tiring, it is like finding excuses and justification for everything that happen, but in reality there is no need to think too much especially when dealing with people. They will surprise you in any way.

Last December, my relationship ended, tho, I would never know the real reason, I actually stop wondering about it, I stop torturing myself with the word "if" and just say it wasn't meant to be. Maybe that relationship isn't the one for me. Recently, I met a lot of people through online social networks (which I deleted all the accounts) and through introduction of friends, all have stories behind it but I can sum it up in one word "refreshing", endless supply of story to write and share (but there will be some I keep them for myself).